About Me

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Paul. Christian. Loves God. Cherishes friendship. Enjoys being single. Plays Dota. Collects Gundams.

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

He loved me before I even knew Him 1

"The Lord already knows you, and has a plan for you even before you were born".
That statement never stops to amaze me every time I hear it because I am deeply touched at how wonderful God has been to me throughout my life right from the very moment I was born.
I was a prematured baby when I was born, 7 months compared to the usual 9 or 10 months to be exact.The moment I was born, I was put into the incubator. My lungs were not fully developed,and as if that wasn't bad enough, there was a hole in my stomach and my intestines were actually coming out.So the doctor had to cut off 3 inches of my intestine in order to stitch it back. Therefore,I have no belly button and I am short because I absorb less nutrients compared to the average person. Furthermore, they also poked my forehead and my ankle in order to put drips of medication.Now, there are stitch marks on my ankle and an obvious patch of hairless hole on my forehead. The doctors also told me that there were a few times I turned blue and nearly died. I was declared stable to be let out of SJMC,ICU(Intensive Care Unit) after 6 long months of struggling.
I spent the first five years of my life in Alor Star,Kedah with my grandmother and came back for kindergarten when I was 6.I was born in a Christian family and my parents took me to be baptized and accept Christ few months after I came out of the hospital.The problem was, I dint know anything about it and most of all, I dint know what it meant. Although I went to church and attended Sunday school every week, I went there reluctantly, I always had to be dragged there after a long argument with my parents(which I always lose) because I dint understand the meaning of going to church and Sunday schools. I would always think "Why are these children singing and what is this old lady in front of me doing telling me about a guy named Jesus?" Little did I know that this Jesus would be the Lord of my life, ever-forgiving friend, Saviour, King. To be continued......

He loved me before I even knew Him 2

I went through my primary school(Lick Hung) life just like any other, wanting to have fun, willing to do anything to fit in and accepted.
Then came life in secondary school. It was pretty much the same old story, wanting to have fun,trying to look cool, be respected and accepted. I put on a mask just to feel good, look cool among friends. But deep down inside, I was empty,lost and lonely. I would always find something to do to avoid the problem. I was running away, from myself, not knowing where I was running.
Until I was in form 3,Around Feb, my mum told me about a Youth Camp that the youth of the church I attend, TMCPJ(Trinity Methodist Church) was organizing. As expected, I thought my mum was crazy if she was going to get me to go. But something inside me spoke to me, It told me to go,i was confused, scared, but I decided to give it a try.During the camp, I dint want to get involve in any activities at all, I joined in a little as during praise and worship but I slept through all of the pastor's sermons. By this time, I had a little more of an idea who Jesus was, my mum kept telling me stories about him. But all I knew was that he died and rose again 3 days later. I thought it was pretty "cool". That was all. I came back from that camp as though nothing had happened, or so i thought . But inside me, I felt something inside me, like a growing seed, or a spreading fire.
A month later, I found myself at my school's CF camp. I went because I had a strong feeling that something is going to happen. As I sat there listening to the pastor talk about the life of a Christian, and the meaning of Salvation, I was touched, deeply touched. I wanted what the pastor said. Salvation, Freedom from Satan and the bondages of the wold,No more running. All that through Christ Jesus. During Alter Call, When the pastor opened the floor to those who wanted to recommit and rededicate their faiths to the Lord, I rushed right out there like there was no tomorrow. A whole new feeling and sensation consumed me. This feeling was like something I never felt before. It was so good no words can come close to describing it. It was better then the sweetest chocolates, better then bah kut teh and better than a Beyond-Godlike Triple Kill in Dota. I knew that this could only be the work of Jesus and the Holy Spirit taking over me. Before I knew it, I was on my knees, tears rolling down my checks and singing praises to The Lord God Almighty as the song "The Heart of Worship" played. that day, my life changed, no more running away. That day onwards, I ran....for Jesus.
From then on,I realized, that the only reason I was alive and made it though all the problems I had when I was born, was because God loved me and has a purpose for me, even before I knew Him. God has a purpose for all of us,go out and look for that purpose, and with God by your side, you will achieve it. Amen!